Merry “Late” Christmas
December 27, 2005 by · 2 Comments
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I apologize that we never got any Christmas cards out in the mail this year. I had intentions of doing it, but had a few personal setbacks this month that did not allow me to do much. I have found that Christmas gets to be a hard time for me every since Savanna was diagnosed. I feel like I do pretty well all year long, but there’s something about Christmas that I mourn all of the things my little girl doesn’t get to do or that I don’t get to do with her as her Mommy. I also miss my brother so much that it hurts. I want to pick up the phone and call him when I’ve had a bad day, because he would always put things in perspective. At least I can still hear his voice; thankfully Kelly has never changed their message on Call Notes so when I call the house and no one answers, I get to hear his voice again and that somehow makes things feel a little bit better. I find myself trying to imagine what Christmas must be like in Heaven and how wonderful it will be when we are all there together. My little girl won’t be confined to this earthly body any longer and will be able to walk, run and dance. But I also know that I have so much to be thankful for that more than makes up for the hard times.
Many nights when I am putting Savanna to bed, I always tell her about how God knew when he was forming her in my tummy what a special little girl she was going to be and how I must be the luckiest Mommy in the world because He picked me. She always gets a smile and just agrees with me. I can rest assured that she definitely has a positive self-image! I find myself always reminding her to say thank you instead of uh-huh when someone tells her how pretty she is. I can say she gets that from her Daddy! He is certainly one to toot his own horn! We really enjoyed her this Christmas because she was so excited this year, except about Santa. He was not to come anywhere near this house, I don’t think she would even allow him in Saginaw. I had to convince her that Mommy would meet up with Santa on Christmas Eve to pick up her presents. She would ask every day to open a present. Of course I wouldn’t let her. She’s already spoiled enough.
This is the time of year that I normally dread: respiratory season. I am constantly praying over her for supernatural immunity so that she won’t get sick. A few weeks ago we were in her room laying on her bed and she was just looking all over the ceiling and smiling. I assumed she was seeing her angel again, so I asked her. Yes, she was watching her angel. I then asked her how many she had that day and she said 1, 2, 3, 4! Wow, 4 angels. Now that is an answer to prayer I would say. I told her how Mommy always prays for those angels to watch over her and then I just stopped and said aloud, thank you angels for watching over my little girl. She loves to give hugs and we’re talking your face has to be squished right up against hers for it to be a real hug. She won’t let you get away with anything less. She cracks me up always wanting a hug. If I don’t do it just right, she’ll say, “That’s not a hug!” I’ll ask her how do you give a hug and she just kind of squeezes her arms, shuts her eyes and says, “mmm, mmm, mmm”. She is so funny. She insists on like a hundred hugs a day. I’ll finally have to tell her, Okay, only one more hug. One day when we were playing and laughing, I told her she was silly. She said, “I’m not silly.” I said, oh, then what are you? She said, “I’m happy.” I then asked her, what makes you happy? Her answer, Jesus. That little girl certainly brings me to tears at least once a week with her sweet and joyful spirit. I feel ridiculous being sad or frustrated with my “things” when she is so happy in spite of all her daily challenges. She also loves to sing and talk to herself, especially when it’s nap time. I was in the office one day listening as she was in there for naptime just talking away. It honestly sounded like she was having a conversation with someone else, yet I knew there was no one in the room. I instantly thought, “Oh she must be talking to her angels. Isn’t that sweet?” Well, I asked her later, “Honey, were you talking to someone in here.” She just sheepishly smiled and said, “Yes.” I said, “who were you talking to?” She answers, “Bo” (that would be Bo Bice for all you non American Idol fans out there). She still thinks he hung the moon, at least until the next American Idol comes out. She wants to wear her Bo t-shirt every day.
So, onto medical updates. We have seen both her orthopedist and her pulmonologist since I last updated you all. The orthopedic surgeon was thrilled with how well she has done. Her spine x-ray showed that the bone grafts that were done around the pelvic area have taken and none of her hardware has come loose. He said she looked great and that we had done a great job with her, although I would say WE haven’t done a great job with her; God has done a great job with her. It is again because of all those prayers for her. We will probably do her next surgery in May or early June. Again, that should not be a major surgery like last time. She will probably only be in the hospital 2-3 days and that will help straighten more of the curve at the top of her spine.
As for her pulmonologist, she was also thrilled with how well Savanna looked. We see her every 2 months and take a chest x-ray at each visit. We have been doing that since she was about a year-old. She said that miraculously her right lung was almost completely re-expanded! Praise God! She said that Savanna looked so well that at our next appointment we won’t even have to do a chest x-ray; she will just check her blood gas. Wow! We haven’t been able to go without chest x-rays for over 3 years!
As for me and Tim, not much new with us. He is completely healed from his hernia surgery and thankfully worked a lot of hours during the Christmas season. I am looking forward to a busy January at the club and trying to resolve to be better organized in 2006. We have reserved Aug 26th for Savanna’s fundraiser, so there’s one thing I can check off my list. We are loving the new wheelchair van and Savanna loves having a TV in the van. We’re hoping to try and take some small family vacation, maybe in the spring. Her royal highness got about a million Christmas presents. I am so thankful that she is loved by so many, but at the same time I want her to appreciate what she has and what she is given, because there are so many children less fortunate out there. It breaks my heart to see a child out with a parent that is obviously neglected in some form by their parent. You can just see it in their eyes and I just can’t imagine not loving your child and taking care of him/her. I am so blessed for the time I am able to spend with Savanna and I know when I’ve had a bad day, I normally just need a “Savanna fix”.
In closing I would just like to ask for your continued prayers for Savanna to stay healthy and to get stronger. I am specifically praying that God would restore her swallowing function, as she has had an interest in eating lately. We were talking about babies a few weeks ago and how they have to be fed and Savanna broke my heart when she said, “I can’t eat.” I told her that Mommy prays for that and that she needs to start praying for God to fix that too and that there is nothing that He cannot fix. Please remember to pray for all of our little SMA friends during this respiratory season as two of them have already had pneumonia. I am looking forward to 2006 and hope that you all have a safe and happy New Year’s Eve. Thank you again for all your prayers for our little angel. I am attaching her latest picture, which I intended to send out with the Christmas cards that never got sent. Now you can see why my resolution is to be more organized in 2006! 
Love,
Mindy